Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Stomache Pain Last Few Days




I worry ... 2 months ago I left your life for the largest door ... I felt so much heart exploded from confusion between my desire never stay and not let go, but my hands were broken, tired of hold you so strong, hold a mirage, a person who never existed ... maybe that was the most hurt, have believed you existed when you were only a dream that I had created ... Man with whom I never thought he was at my side, because it never existed.

I remember, stabbing my body with every word kid, I remember thinking that this would be the last day that you see, that was the last night with you, that was the last hug ... I missed my body and I had not even gone ...

You got up, gave me a kiss on the cheek and turned away, your back was getting smaller, and disappeared ... that was the last tear to cry for you ...

remember all your criticisms and judgments, your ideas so wrong square, you look that screamed the opposite of what shouting your mouth ... I worry, because you are full of bitterness that will not let you move, you think we are all against you, and hurt without realizing it, neglecting all the beauty that was here ...

I worry, because you are not happy, because it comes loaded with your story, because they rise above your past in your mind and makes you vulnerable, because your hands are busy, are full and if there is full room for more ... Forgive me for not being with you and help you realize your dreams, but not up to me that you do. Forgive me for not need you. Forgive me to say "here", "no more." Forgive me for not wanting to discover you and be with you, because it was to be at the expense of my own good. I loved you, I'm not lying, and you know it ... I loved you so, and I'd say that could even give my life for you, but I realized that it was not die for you, but to live with you ... and I'm honest, I do not want to die for you, but to live with you the highlights important, most difficult, the most beautiful, but there was only one problem, You were not willing to live with and receive what I had saved, and that ... I accepted ...

Forgive me for something better and want to make something beautiful of my life, but never got it, and if you understood what I never understood what I feared ... I miss you, of course I miss you, and I'm sorry to say I have nothing to hide, of course I miss you, but do not need you, you do not realize how free I am? Do not depend on anyone, let alone someone who does not live with me, I'm so free and so happy at the same time ... but would have given anything, but I realized that it is not given to borrow the soul, but shared ... getting tired of my mirage ridiculous ... I washed my hands, and leave you free to seek your happiness where you see fit better ... and I feel good having done ... because my hands are not full and do not cling, it is true, I take you in my skin and take it thank you in me, as a souvenir that gives hints of what we were ... and yet, I worry and pity, I feel some sadness knowing you well in your quicksand that will not let you move forward, it gives me a certain nostalgia have not kept you see everything you deserved, sometimes it seems that neither the thou think, sometimes it seems that not believe how special you are, sometimes seem to punish yourself by yourself and do not accept that you deserve good things that make you happy ... and tear hurts because it was like I had torn a piece of me ...

I forgive you for not knowing how to understand, for your few moments of sincerity, your cries and your hurtful words, not wanting to know from me, ignore me, for having mad at me, I forgive you for everything you're not , for the mistakes you made and the things you never did ... more I thank you for being who you were, for the things you did and not, for the successes and lessons, to be at times and your absence when I got to need you, thank you for every look, hug, caress, word, every kiss, every tear that made me flinch at times making me see how fragile and tiny I am, for every tear that made me strong and gave me enough will not depend on you and not let me die for you instead of living next to you ... thanks for the nights you were not, as I learned to be me and love me a little more ... I forgive myself for judging reclaim and even though she knew she was right, and reclaim when they had it, by shouting at things and let out my darker side, forgive me for not being what you expected (if you expected something), by be who I was and what not, the mistakes and successes, for love and stay quiet, and forgive many things kick you in the face and other ... and I thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience beautiful moments with you made me good, you fell me well, like falling from heaven like dew to the rose, like a glove, you fell me well, as the light of noon, I know you fell like you just do it because you're somebody that give color to life, mysticism and magic, joy and purity, were curiously the exact same thing once you venture to say that I was for you ... someone who made me a better person, and thank you were in the dark to me, may be with someone else, you were the one who had left the cast, so different ... exactly as I described ... like steal the words of my mouth without saying ... I forgive you for not fighting for me and pretend you do not care ... thanks for showing me the opposite and forgive me for letting me win and not fight for you ... to ignore, do as I do not care ...

open my hands, my skin is missing without knowing why ... not need you, without trial or mirage ... no lies ... but so well that the smile never falls from my mouth, because it remind you again live ... As well I told you once, I liked you were, if only at times, I liked that you left, because I knew where to find you, because I did not want you eternal, perhaps only half, not always needed you, all day long, because that's the way life at times could be perfect ...

I'm sorry, and I know you, you feel the same way ...
I forgive you for putting together your own story, and I hope you can forgive me someday build my own ...


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